WP #3 Final Draft

Author's Statement:
This project was by far the most fun for me. It combines two of my greatest loves—writing in a formal, old-fashioned style, and acting. I have very little experience in writing in “Old English,” but I have read many books in the style, and enjoy speaking it when the opportunity presents itself. I enjoyed going “all out” on this project, writing and speaking in a way Americans are not used to.

I did not make very many revisions between the rough draft and final draft. This was mainly because I had done a good deal of prep work before I wrote the rough draft, so I knew what I wanted to do with the letter. I was actually quite happy with my rough draft. The biggest change I made was the manner of death at the end. In the rough draft, I intended for the speaker to be hung (presumably by the British), but instead chose to have him commit suicide before capture. The main reason I did this was ease of acting. It is much easier to lie dead on the ground for two minutes than pretend to be hung for two minutes.

The second biggest change I made was to the sentence, “My people didst not suspect Arnold of his betrayal, but betrayed he did.” This was extremely awkward, both to say and read. I changed it to make my meaning more clear. The other changes I made were mainly fixing typos or adding a few words in to make the paper flow better. I will thus spend the rest of the Author’s Note defending my choices, because they are not exactly usual for this kind of assignment.

As I said in my writer’s statement, I decided to write the letter in old English because it is the most noble and beautiful form of language still understood by modern speakers. Fallen Dreamer is a statement of the beauty of dreams, and a reflection of the nobility of those who would die (or at least be misunderstood) for their dreams. It only makes sense for the language of the letter to reflect that nobility.

I decided for the writer (i.e. me) to be a soldier on the Colonial side of the Revolutionary War because my audience is made up of people from the United States. In the American culture, as in every nation which was created by revolution, we see the revolutionaries as the greatest heroes in our nation’s history. To us, they are the greatest fallen dreamers there are. Thus, I decided to put the speaker into that context. While I was writing in the context of the Revolutionary War, I also worked in as many arguments as possible about placement, structure, etc.

Finally, I chose to keep the anonymity of the speaker in order to bring out the universalism in Fallen Dreamer. The vagueness of the title was certainly intentional, and I wanted to keep that vagueness intact through my letter. In other words, I wanted to allow the audience to transpose their own thoughts onto my letter and Fallen Dreamer.

Rough Draft
Purpose Statement

Final Draft:



A letter to the Fallen Dreamer,
Written in the Year of Our Lord seventeen hundred and seventy six.

A fallen dreamer men say thou art. I wonder, what dist thou dream? Didst thou make grand proclamations before the people? Were’t thou like the great Patrick Henry, stirring men to oppose tyrants? Didst thou live to see thy dreams come to pass? Or, like many poor wretches in these times, didst thou die before thy dreams came to pass?

Oh dreamer, I write to thee on this darkest of days. This land has not yet been free for eighty days and already we are failing. It was only two months ago when we rejoiced at the news. We had declared independence! Now our dreams would be fulfilled. But oh, dreamer, with thee we may fall.

I see thou are’t a man of the heathen southern lands, one of the races subjugated by the conquistadors. I wonder, were’t thou a philosopher of thine people? How can I, a man of so little wit, understand thy lofty thoughts? Did thou understand mysteries that would have confounded Plato and Aristotle? Did thou understand the purpose of this life? Did thou grasp the reason for sudden tyranny? Tell, me fallen dreamer, for I must know! Were’t thou struck down for defying these heathen land’s laws? For, surely, I too shall soon be struck down. Were’t thou countrymen enraged by thine discoveries? Oh, fallen dreamer, how I wish to discover the answers! For I too am to be struck down by my countrymen! I too have defied my king and rebelled against him! I too shall suffer the fate of those who dream of a better future.

Or perhaps thou were’t not a rebel, but a monster. Could it be that thou were as Benedict Arnold. Did thou dream of the destruction of your people? Perhaps thou hast betrayed your people. Perhaps this monument is not a celebration, but a warning. Could it be, oh dreamer? Could thou be capable of such things? My people didst not suspect Arnold of his betrayal, but betray us he did. His dastardly schemes almost undid all that we have done. For surely if Westpoint had fallen our young nation would have died with it. Could it be that thou were such a man? Would you have turned on your own countrymen in their greatest hour of need?

No. You could not have been such a monster. You could not have tried to destroy your people. Such a noble monument could only be for a noble man. But, whatever thou hast done, here thy bronzen head lies. Tell me, what became of thine body? Dost it lie in a tomb in some distant land? Or was it destroyed when they cut thee down? Surely it dost not matter, for the body is but a shell. The mind, the spirit, is the essence of thine body. Thine thought come not from thy body, but from thine head. Oh what noble thoughts those must have been! For only a great dreamer could have died such a noble death. Yet, without thy body, thy head lies here useless. For a head without a body is like an arm without feeling. It is dead, and good only for the fire.

So here thy head lies, here on this most unceremonious of land. Thou art the gatekeeper of all that lies inside. Thou, oh fallen dreamer, speak silent remembrance to all the dreamers in this most hallowed of buildings. You stand guard over all the fallen dreamers in this sanctuary. Inside these great walls of glass and stone are the remnants of hundreds of fallen dreamers. And yet, even In death, even as thy lay among thine peers, thou art mocked. Children desecrate thy memory and their parents point and laugh. Other simply ignore thee. They pass by through the doors of glass without a glance toward thy noble head. Thou must suffer this indignity in silence, as thou hast always done.

Oh cruel word! Dost thou care that this dreamer hast died? Dost thou understand that his dreams have come to naught? No! For you cannot. You cannot know what a dreamer is. For you kill the dreamers. You are indeed the children of those who killed the prophets of old. There was not one whom your fathers did not persecute. You have the blood of so many dreamers on your hands. I have seen the dreams of many young men smashed by thy cold, cruel steel. As the lead pierces their bodies, thy injustice pierces my soul. You demand that men sacrifice their dreams for your twisted conformity. You ask for what man cannot give—you demand the very thing that makes them men. You require men to sell their souls.

So, oh fallen dreamer, what then for me? For my dreams too are great. I fight for the freedom for my people. Even today I defied my king in the service of my God and my country. I can here them coming for me; I cannot hide. Oh dreamer, shall I too be forced to choose between my life and my dreams? Shall I be made to sacrifice what you have sacrificed? Even now I see the gibbet upon which I shall be hanged if I do not swear allegiance to the tyrant. Shall I abandon all that I hold dear to escape the gallows? No. For if I must choose between life and my dreams, I shall choose death.

Oh world, thou may kill me. I do not recant my dreams and hopes. I would rather die a dreamer and a martyr than to live a coward. I will not die upon thy altar. I shall choose to take my own life. My only regret is that I have but one life to die for my country.

Oh dreamer, I, like thee, shall choose to die.

WP#3 Rough Draft

A letter to the Fallen Dreamer,
Written in the Year of Our Lord seventeen hundred and seventy six.

A fallen dreamer men say thou art. I wonder, what dist thou dream? Didst thou make grand proclamations before the people? Were’t thou like the great Patrick Henry, stirring men to oppose tyrants? Didst thou live to see they dreams come to pass? Or, like many poor wretches in these times, didst thou die before thy dreams came to pass?

Oh dreamer, I write to thee on this darkest of days. This land has not yet been free for eighty days and already we are failing. It was only two months ago when we rejoiced at the news. We had declared independence! Now our dreams would be fulfilled. But oh, dreamer, with thee we may fall.

A man of the heathen southern lands thou were’t, what dost that mean? How can I, a man of so little wit, understand thy lofty thoughts? What noble philosopher thou must have been! Divining mysteries that Plato could not have seen .Did thou understand the purpose of this life? Did thou grasp the reason for sudden tyranny? Were’t thou struck down for defying these heathen land’s laws? For, surely, I too shall soon be struck down. Were’t thou countrymen enraged by thine discoveries? Oh, fallen dreamer, how I wish to discover the answers! For I too am to be struck down by my countrymen! I too have defied my king and rebelled against him! I too shall suffer the fate of those who dream of a better future.

Or perhaps thou were’t not a rebel, but a monster. Could it be that thou were as Benedict Arnold. Did thou dream of the destruction of your people? Perhaps thou hast betrayed your people. Perhaps this monument is not a celebration, but a warning. Could it be, oh dreamer? Could thou be capable of such things? My people didst not suspect Arnold of his betrayal, but betrayed he did. His dastardly schemes almost undid all that we have done. For surely if Westpoint had fallen our fledging nation would have died with it. Could it be that thou were such a man? Would you have turned on your own countrymen in their greatest hour of need?

No. You could not have been such a monster. You could not have tried to destroy your people. Such a noble monument could only be for a noble man. But, whatever thou hast done, here thy bronzen head lies. Tell me, what became of thine body? Dost it lie in a tomb in some distant land? Or was it destroyed when they cut thee down? Surely it dost not matter, for the body is but a shell. The mind, the spirit, is the essence of thine body. Thine thought come not from thy body, but from thine head. Oh what noble thoughts those must have been! For only a great dreamer could have died such a noble death. Yet, without thy body, thy head lies here useless. For a head without a body is like an arm without feeling. It is dead, and good only for the fire.

So here thy head lies, here on this most unceremonious of land. Thou art the gatekeeper of all that lies inside. Thou, oh fallen dreamer, speak silent rememberance to all the dreamers in this most hallowed of buildings. You stand guard over all the fallen dreamers in this sanctuary. Inside these great walls of glass and steel are the remnants of hundreds of fallen dreamers. And yet, even In death, even as thy lay among thine peers, thou art mocked. Children desecrate thy memory and their parents point and laugh. Other simply ignore thee. They pass by through the doors of glass without a glance toward thy noble head. Though must suffer this indignity in silence, as thou hast always done.

Oh cruel word! Dost thou care that this dreamer hast died? Dost thou understand that his dreams have come to naught? No! For you cannot. You cannot know what a dreamer is. For you kill the dreamers. You are indeed the children of those who killed the prophets of old. There was not one whom your fathers did not persecute. You have the blood of so many dreamers on your hands. I have seen the dreams of many young men smashed by thy cold, cruel steel. As the lead pierces their bodies, thy injustice pierces my soul. You demand that men sacrifice their dreams for your twisted conformity. You ask for what man cannot give—you demand the very thing that makes them men. You require men to sell their souls.

So, oh fallen dreamer, what then for me? For my dreams too are great. I fight for the freedom for my people. Even today I defied my king in the service of my God and my country. I can here them coming for me; I cannot hide. Oh dreamer, shall I too be forced to choose between my life and my dreams? Shall I be made to sacrifice what you have sacrificed? Even now I see the gibbet upon which I shall be hanged if I do not swear allegiance to the tyrant. Shall I abandon all that I hold dear to escape the gallows? No. For if I must choose between life and my dreams, I shall choose death.

Oh world, thou may kill me. I do not recant my dreams and hopes. I would rather die a dreamer and a martyr than to live a coward. My only regret is that I have but one life to die for my country.

Oh dreamer, I, like thee, shall choose to die.

WP #3 Purpose Statement

The goal of this project (both the written and spoken parts) is to encourage the audience to see Fallen Dreamer as more than just a bronze head. I want the audience to see the sculpture as a symbol for our dreams and how our culture is set up for those dreams to fail. The letter I am writing is not a rhetorical analysis. The use of terms from CDA or our other readings would only hinder my purpose. Words such as ethos, pathos, logos, and pathos would only harm my overall goal. Such words engage the left (logical) side of the brain, while I want to engage the right (emotional) side of the brain. Thus, I will be appealing to the audience’s emotions in my letter.

To help achieve this goal, I will be writing my letter in approximately the same style as the King James Version of the Bible. In other words, I will be using archaic (but understood) words and phrases. I am choosing to do this because we tend to see dreamers as stately, lofty, and exalted. The loftiest form of English still understood by the modern listener is the style of the King James.

While the letter will be addressed to Fallen Dreamer, it is not my audience. It is a sculpture and can not hear or process what I am saying. Instead, my primary audience will be my professor and classmates. This will not be much of an issue for the written portion of the final assignment, as Americans are used to reading letters addressed to other people. For the speech portion, I will be dramatically speaking to the statue part of the time and speaking to the audience for other portions. The letter will be written in such a way as to allow engaging both the statue and the audience in my presentation.

This project will be a success if the audience leaves thinking about their dreams and the importance of those dreams. Since this is not a rhetorical analysis, I will not specifically be stating the argument the statue makes. Instead, I will be making an emotional plea to the audience to consider the importance of pursuing dreams—even at great cost. If the audience understands that plea, the presentation will be a success.

As arrogant as it may sound, I do not have any significant concerns about this project. Because of my background in speech, I have a lot of experience in both writing and presenting speeches. While most of the grade is not actually from the presentation, I also have a good amount of experience in writing interpretative speeches that make sense without being spoken. Thus, I will write this letter in the style of an interpretive speech. The only potential problem is that my experience comes almost exclusively from humorous events. However, I do not anticipate any major problems.

I am looking forward to this project more than any other assignment this semester. I enjoy both giving and writing speeches, and anticipate having fun speaking/acting in a style I have little experience in. I have always wanted to write/perform a serious piece that I wrote, and I finally have an opportunity.

Pre-Writing Assignment #4

Fallen Dreamer, a sculpture by the Wichita native Tom Otterness, is, of course, a giant head. However, it is much more than that when one examines the history of Otterness’s work and his own comments on the piece.

Fallen Dreamer was made in 1995 and has always been at the Sheldon Art Museum. However, there are two other copies of Fallen Dreamer. It is made of bronze, which is typical of Otterness. Fallen Dreamer is, however, untypical of the rest of his work. Otterness is usually not a subtle artist. One of his best known works, Life Underground, is a comic sculpture of a sewer alligator biting a passerby. Another one of his works, Herring Eater, casts a large shadow on a road in the Netherlands. Comparatively speaking, Fallen Dreamer is not large (although, proportionally speaking it is enormous), nor is it comical. It is subtle, subdued; unique. It is the welcoming piece to Sheldon, a museum full of art that is unique. With uniqueness comes misunderstanding and controversy. Otterness himself is no stranger to misunderstanding and controversy (especially his sadistic “Dog Shot Video”), and Fallen Dreamer is an outpouring of that controversy. I was correct in my original analysis. Fallen Dreamer refers to the dreams and misunderstanding that inherently flow from the art world.

However, in order for an art object to appeal to the masses, it must be universal. This fact is not lost on Otterness, who says of Fallen Dreamer, “I always think of large monuments [such as Fallen Dreamer] as being symbols of society.” He intended the sculpture to speak of society as a whole—not just the art world. This is the purpose of the ambiguous title. It asks audience members to think about “fallen dreamers” throughout the history of our society. Our minds turn to Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., John F. Kennedy, even Benedict Arnold; men who died before they could see their dreams fully come to fruition. Because Fallen Dreamer was sculpted so recently and its intended message is so universal, it is difficult to see how the message could change over the last fifteen years. However, I was correct in the original message of the piece. Those who dream often fall; society will not and inherently cannot tolerate deviation from the norm.

Works Cited:
Wikipedia; “Tom Otterness,” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Otterness#Early_career

Mamiya, Christin J, “Fallen Dreamer” (from the Sheldon Art Museum) http://books.google.com/books?id=bs3rFfPLdOEC&pg=PA224&lpg=PA224&dq=fallen+dreamer+sculpture&source=bl&ots=TIfaeRIl3U&sig=sub98uvLuvf95ZD2UMLLoiQ8jmY&hl=en&ei=LkLKS7CWFImosgOIrJG6Aw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&ved=0CBIQ6AEwAg#v=onepage&q=fallen%20dreamer%20sculpture&f=false

Sheldon Art Museum Tour Slideshow, http://www.sheldonartgallery.org/photos/tours/otternessfallendreamer.pdf

In the previous post, I analyzed three of the most obvious rhetorical appeals made by Fallen Dreamer. In this post, we will look at some of the less obvious rhetorical appeals made in Fallen Dreamer and examine their impact on the
argument being made.

The first thing we will analyze is the physical composition of Fallen Dreamer. Since it is made for outdoor display, it cannot be made of wood, ceramic, or other fragile materials. Thus, it is made out of bronze, which is an alloy of copper and (usually) tin. In the case of Fallen Dreamer, it is a dark brownish-gold, almost black. Molding the sculpture with a dark metal subtly adds to the weight of the argument. In the American culture (the sculptor of Fallen Dreamer was, after all, American), dark colors are subconsciously associated with solemn emotions and depression. Thus, the darkness of the metal in Fallen Dreamer cause the viewer to subconsciously attach dark feelings to the sculpture.

In addition to being dark, bronze becomes green when it weathers. In this particular incarnation of Fallen Dreamer, there has been limited weathering on the neck and forehead. This gives the statue an old feel. This causes the viewer (if he/she notices it) to view the sculpture as an old object. In our culture, older objects are given special attention as important. Thus, the weathering causes an audience member to give more attention to Fallen Dreamer than he would otherwise give. The choice material, through coloring and aging, gives Fallen Dreamer a far more serious feel than a giant, disembodied head usually would have.

The second unobvious rhetorical device employed by Fallen Dreamer is context. It is the only sculpture on the steps to the Sheldon Art Museum at the University of Nebraska. It is, in a sense, a welcome mat. It is certainly odd that a giant head is the welcoming piece for visitors, but it also speaks to the nature of the art museum.

Sheldon contains mostly abstract art. The art it contains and the artists who created the paintings and sculptures are often misunderstood. They are seen as outcastes in their cultures. Although most of them did not meet violent deaths, in a sense the artists in Sheldon were (or are) fallen dreamers. They have great dreams for their artwork, yet were ostracized by their peers. Their dreams were, indeed, fallen. Fallen Dreamer speaks to their pain, and asks visitors to do the same.

While Fallen Dreamer is a welcome mat for Sheldon, it is also out of the normal path visitors take. It is in the center of the stairway, which no visitors use. Students enter the museum from the right side of the staircase, non-students enter the museum from the left side. There is no direction from which a visitor can approach the middle without going out of their way. This speaks to the nature of fallen dreamers. Unless they were heroically killed in bringing their dreams to fruition, no one really cares. Audiences pass by with hardly a glance.

There are obvious elements to Fallen Dreamer that everyone can see. However, a deeper examination of the sculpture can reveal subtle and intentional decisions made by the artist and museum to amplify the message of this piece of art.